medievallass: (Default)
Okay here we go again round two of round two at PSU. After the whole struggle and success with fall term I'm not sure how to feel going into this term. On one hand I love the subject matter I will be studying, Anthropology of food, African history before 1800 ce, and world history 105. However I know that if things begin to spiral my joy with the subject can be ruined by my dred of terrible grades and failure. It's hard to know what sort of outlook to have. I failed my Anthro human variation course, but that appears to be due largely to running out of time, especially on the exams. Painfully I knew the answers, it's just with ten short answer questions, and five essays, with the extra half an hour the DRC was able to give me, an hour and a half still wasn't enough. I must admit it has totally shaken and or deflated my cofidence in taking exams at the university level.

Over the Christmas break I updated my paperwork for the DRC, which is why they couldn't give me double time for tests. However even with that I'm not certain I could finish in time, but it would be better than half an hour. Unfortunately, the phychritrist who tested me said it can take two weeks to process the testing, and the lady at the DRC said it could take two weeks on their end. That could be as much as a month total, which is enough time to fail an exam or more due to lack of accomadation. Hopefully it will be easier for the DRC to sort out the paper work. Either way I guess I shouldn't worry about it, it's out of my hands now. The only thing is... I could loose more time and effort and grades to a messed up situation that just makes me feel like shit, and makes me look really bad. If the DRC makes things difficult by not accomadating me (for the third time) I will seriously question my future, perhaps change it entirely, especially here at PSU. I really really hope it doesn't come that. I want to manage this, I want to work hard, but feel like I can do this, I want the confidence I had in my last couple years at PCC, I want to get my degrees before I get too old to do the other important  things I want to do with my life (marry have children). All laid out like this, it does seem like a lot to ask , but I will work hard I will put everything I have into this. I just need a little asistance.

Today is my first day of classes. I have World History 10:15-11:20 and Anthro of Food 3:00-4:00 they sound terrific. I'm just going to try and chill out enjoy it and feel excited about what I'm doing. I haven't even seen the sylaby yet, sometimes I worry about things that turn out to be better than I thought. Hopefully this will be the case. I must be Cautiously optimistic! Love to everyone!

Hayley ^_^

March 2015

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